Friendship
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or rude. It does not demand it's own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no records of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
This verse is well known to many people, Christian and non-Christian alike. Most of us have either heard this verse in a wedding, or if you're are married, used it as a part of your vows to each other. This verse is traditionally used as a blueprint for a strong marriage/relationship founded on Christ and the salvation we have through Him, but as I write this, I also see this as a foundation for a strong, Christ-centered friendship.
What does it mean to be a friend in this fallen world? To be a friend in a fallen world is to know we are fallen too, but we have a Savior who is alive and dwells in our hearts at every moment and gives us what we need to love, forgive, and give the grace and compassion we need to lay down our pride at each moment.
In this fallen world we are surrounded by pain, distrust, anger, frustration, malice, fear, anxiousness and so many other negative things that are not of God and sometimes these things can seep into our relationships, including friendships.
When I first became a Christian, I prayed that God would bring strong Christian women into my life to help grow me closer to Him. I prayed that I would be surrounded by women that would build me up and not tear me down, or make me feel as though I was less of a Christian than they were. To be honest, I experienced both of those. I remember feeling that the church was supposed to be perfect and that I should have never felt the isolation I did, but I have since learned and understood otherwise. We are fallen people in a fallen world and I had to either come to that realization or be disappointed for the rest of my life.
As I struggled through my own insecurities of what a strong Christian friendship was supposed to look like, I turned to His Word and found what the Lord says a friendship should be when it is founded on Him. His Word gives us so many pictures of how we should be, not just as a follower of Christ, but as a human in this fallen world that wants to shine the light of Christ to others. In Ephesians, Paul gives a clear picture of how we should be towards one another. He says in chapter 4, verses 29 and 31-21, "Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. .Instead be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving on another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."
Our words to one another can cut deeply. Words of malice, words of condemnation, words of mockery, words of entitlement, words of jealousy can rain down and crush us underneath the weight of the pain it brings. John 3:17 says, "For God did not send His Son into the world that He might condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him." Who are we to condemn each other? By day I am a teacher of middle school age students, and I see this daily in friendships. I see girls torn down by other girls and how a girls worth lies in what others think of her. Even as adults, we still do this towards each other. We bring someone else down so we can bring ourselves up. So we can look right and strong in front of others when we fear our weakness maybe showing.
I have gone through situations with "friends" that have torn me down to nothing. I have been poorly treated by those I considered close and trusted friends, and if we are honest I have done the same in return. Recently I had a falling out with a "friend" and the relationship has never recovered. Her and I have never always seen eye to eye, but we had a mutual respect for each other that helped fuel our friendship. At one point I was asked to apologize for something I felt did not warrant an apology. Against when I initially felt, I apologized for any offense I may have caused her, but that apology was seemly rejected. I have struggled with this situation,This situation shook the foundation of my faith in regards to some of my other friendships and if they were real. I read verses like Proverbs 17:9 which says, "Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends." and Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up".I have wondered what had happen to the forgiveness that Christ says we are to give to one another. I have wondered about those who have fallen and have no one to help them to their feet with the love, compassion, grace, and forgiveness of Christ. I have prayed for this friendship and have given this relationship over to God, but that does not take away all of the hurt, pain, and betrayal that I have felt. Maintaining a good relationship with another person means forgiving rather than dwelling on the faults. It means putting our pride away, humbling ourselves and not letting the enemy come between the sons and daughters of God.
It all comes back to the attributes in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. We are to be patient, kind, not jealous or boastful. We are not supposed to keep a record of the wrongs in our life or in other's lives. We are not supposed to demand our own way, but love each other and show compassion in our differences. These things seem so simple, yet so complex at the same time. Each of us most likely struggle with this daily. Why do we continue to fight as if we are the enemies? We are daughters of the King of Kings, which makes us sisters in Christ. With so much hate in the world, why do we fight each other? The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy and if we let him attack we are letting him win a battle in a war in which Christ has already won. Solomon says in Proverbs 27:17, "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend." We are hear to sharpen one another my friends. We are here to build each other up and not tear each other down. Sisters, friends, daughters, we cannot allow the enemy to come in to our relationships and make his home in between us. The Lord created us to be in relationship with one another and to love one another as He loves us, to be a light on this earth that is filled with so much darkness. We are lights sisters and we need to stand united on His foundation and stand against whatever may come our way.
My question to you is, who are you fighting against? Who do YOU need to forgive? Name them. What friendship is on your heart? God holds all of our friendships and relationships. He knows which ones are a burden on our hearts and preventing us from being in His image due to the pride we have. We are called to walk this life together sisters and I will continue to pray for you as you navigate this crazy journey you are walking through. The Lord is walking with you, just look down at the foot prints and know He has never left you.
This verse is well known to many people, Christian and non-Christian alike. Most of us have either heard this verse in a wedding, or if you're are married, used it as a part of your vows to each other. This verse is traditionally used as a blueprint for a strong marriage/relationship founded on Christ and the salvation we have through Him, but as I write this, I also see this as a foundation for a strong, Christ-centered friendship.
What does it mean to be a friend in this fallen world? To be a friend in a fallen world is to know we are fallen too, but we have a Savior who is alive and dwells in our hearts at every moment and gives us what we need to love, forgive, and give the grace and compassion we need to lay down our pride at each moment.
In this fallen world we are surrounded by pain, distrust, anger, frustration, malice, fear, anxiousness and so many other negative things that are not of God and sometimes these things can seep into our relationships, including friendships.
When I first became a Christian, I prayed that God would bring strong Christian women into my life to help grow me closer to Him. I prayed that I would be surrounded by women that would build me up and not tear me down, or make me feel as though I was less of a Christian than they were. To be honest, I experienced both of those. I remember feeling that the church was supposed to be perfect and that I should have never felt the isolation I did, but I have since learned and understood otherwise. We are fallen people in a fallen world and I had to either come to that realization or be disappointed for the rest of my life.
As I struggled through my own insecurities of what a strong Christian friendship was supposed to look like, I turned to His Word and found what the Lord says a friendship should be when it is founded on Him. His Word gives us so many pictures of how we should be, not just as a follower of Christ, but as a human in this fallen world that wants to shine the light of Christ to others. In Ephesians, Paul gives a clear picture of how we should be towards one another. He says in chapter 4, verses 29 and 31-21, "Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. .Instead be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving on another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."
Our words to one another can cut deeply. Words of malice, words of condemnation, words of mockery, words of entitlement, words of jealousy can rain down and crush us underneath the weight of the pain it brings. John 3:17 says, "For God did not send His Son into the world that He might condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him." Who are we to condemn each other? By day I am a teacher of middle school age students, and I see this daily in friendships. I see girls torn down by other girls and how a girls worth lies in what others think of her. Even as adults, we still do this towards each other. We bring someone else down so we can bring ourselves up. So we can look right and strong in front of others when we fear our weakness maybe showing.
I have gone through situations with "friends" that have torn me down to nothing. I have been poorly treated by those I considered close and trusted friends, and if we are honest I have done the same in return. Recently I had a falling out with a "friend" and the relationship has never recovered. Her and I have never always seen eye to eye, but we had a mutual respect for each other that helped fuel our friendship. At one point I was asked to apologize for something I felt did not warrant an apology. Against when I initially felt, I apologized for any offense I may have caused her, but that apology was seemly rejected. I have struggled with this situation,This situation shook the foundation of my faith in regards to some of my other friendships and if they were real. I read verses like Proverbs 17:9 which says, "Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends." and Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up".I have wondered what had happen to the forgiveness that Christ says we are to give to one another. I have wondered about those who have fallen and have no one to help them to their feet with the love, compassion, grace, and forgiveness of Christ. I have prayed for this friendship and have given this relationship over to God, but that does not take away all of the hurt, pain, and betrayal that I have felt. Maintaining a good relationship with another person means forgiving rather than dwelling on the faults. It means putting our pride away, humbling ourselves and not letting the enemy come between the sons and daughters of God.
It all comes back to the attributes in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. We are to be patient, kind, not jealous or boastful. We are not supposed to keep a record of the wrongs in our life or in other's lives. We are not supposed to demand our own way, but love each other and show compassion in our differences. These things seem so simple, yet so complex at the same time. Each of us most likely struggle with this daily. Why do we continue to fight as if we are the enemies? We are daughters of the King of Kings, which makes us sisters in Christ. With so much hate in the world, why do we fight each other? The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy and if we let him attack we are letting him win a battle in a war in which Christ has already won. Solomon says in Proverbs 27:17, "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend." We are hear to sharpen one another my friends. We are here to build each other up and not tear each other down. Sisters, friends, daughters, we cannot allow the enemy to come in to our relationships and make his home in between us. The Lord created us to be in relationship with one another and to love one another as He loves us, to be a light on this earth that is filled with so much darkness. We are lights sisters and we need to stand united on His foundation and stand against whatever may come our way.
My question to you is, who are you fighting against? Who do YOU need to forgive? Name them. What friendship is on your heart? God holds all of our friendships and relationships. He knows which ones are a burden on our hearts and preventing us from being in His image due to the pride we have. We are called to walk this life together sisters and I will continue to pray for you as you navigate this crazy journey you are walking through. The Lord is walking with you, just look down at the foot prints and know He has never left you.
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