Uneasy and Unsure, But...
"Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without criticizing, and it will be given to hm." James 1:5
Uneasy and unsure. Those words go together like peanut butter and jelly for most people. When you're uneasy about something, you become unsure about everything else. Things that seemed to make sense or make you happy are now being called into question. The way you see your life, the world, changes. I can tell you that when this feeling happens to me, it literally takes over my body. During that time I am always on the verge of a breakdown, and I mean literal tears. I have to step back and take a deep breath to keep the tears from flowing down my cheeks, but trust me, my eyes are full. It's an unexpressable feeling of anxiety. I have never been able to put the anxiousness I have felt in the pit of my stomach into words. It's like I want to jump out of my skin. Like I should be doing something else with my life. Like I am not where I am supposed to be. Like I should be living someone else life. Like I am bored and not happy with the plan God currently has me living in.
With all that said, what does all of this have to do with James 1:5? To be honest, it took me a while to wrap my head around that question. I've been sitting here erasing this for over 2 hours trying to answer that exact question. As I sat here I started to wonder if my anxiety, the uneasiness, stems from not simply asking for the wisdom that I am lacking. Are all of my insecurities, fears, anxiousness, unrest coming from a place where I am too busy looking and relying on earthly wisdom and not Godly wisdom? Why am I not asking God for His guidance and wisdom when it is so freely given and without judgement?
In James 3 he goes on to say, "Who is wise and has understanding among you? He should show his works by good conduct with wisdom's gentleness. But if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart, don't brag and deny the truth. Such wisdom does not come from above but is earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For where envy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every kind of evil. But the wisdom from above is first pure, the peace-loving, gentle, complaint, full of mercy and good fruits, without favoritism and hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who cultivate peace." (James 3:13-18). The first time I read that, I could not wrap my head around what James was saying. I picked up all the versions of the Bible I have and tried to understand exactly what James was trying to tell to the Jewish believers scattered all over. I feel that he is saying we have to have discernment between earthly wisdom and Godly wisdom. His truth cannot be associated with jealously and selfish ambition. His wisdom is associated with the fruits of the spirit that we see in Galatians 5:22-23, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law." When we do not have the fruit of the Spirit flowing through us the opposite of each occurs. The uneasiness, the anxiousness, the unrest, the lack of patience seeps in and we begin to look for wisdom in something we can tangibly see and touch, something earthly. When we are in God's word, seeking His wisdom, we are able to seek with our whole hearts and with all of our mind in a way that can only be described as peace.
As I write this I am seeking wisdom, but to tell you the truth it has been from the world and not from God. As I write this my beautiful city of Houston and it's surrounding areas lay in ruin and hopeful recovery due to Hurricane Harvey and it's flooding waters. I have seen the devastation of my city through TV, social media, text messages, and in person as I have tried to get back into what would be a sense of normalcy. My students come back Monday and my job as a teacher is to help them cope with the trauma and my job as a Christian is to try and make sense of it all and see His goodness in the chaos that we have been in for almost 2 weeks. How can I make sense of it all and seek His wisdom when all I see is the destruction of the city I have called home for over 30 years? How can I help them cope when I am struggling to cope myself? James 1:5. "Now if any of you lacks wisdom, HE SHOULD ASK GOD, who give generously and without criticizing, and it will be given to him." Most uneasiness and unrest that we experience stem from big events in our lives (the hurricane and flooding being the most recent for me). Why is it so hard for us to ask for this abundance of wisdom at the most critical moments of life? I feel like it is because we need something tangible to grab onto in moments that shake us to the core. His wisdom is "pure, peace-loving, gentle, complaint, full of mercy and good fruits, without favoritism and hypocrisy." (James 3:17), yet we still reach for earthly wisdom because we can touch it, see it, and have it on a moments notice. What's funny is that even though the earthly wisdom can be almost instant it still does not bring the peace and calmness that we need, a peace only His wisdom can bring.
What are you needing to seek wisdom on in your life? Are you feeling a sense of uneasiness and unrest, but you don't know where or who to look to like I am at certain moments? Even when we do not feel like we can we have got to look to Him and ask. All we have to do is ask. That is the beauty of having open communication with God because of Jesus and His sacrifice. We have the amazing ability to talk to God, ask Him for His wisdom, sit back and listen. Seek Him with a pure and open heart and He will speak, all you have to do is listen. Know that I am praying for you my sweet sisters.
In Him and For His Glory
Uneasy and unsure. Those words go together like peanut butter and jelly for most people. When you're uneasy about something, you become unsure about everything else. Things that seemed to make sense or make you happy are now being called into question. The way you see your life, the world, changes. I can tell you that when this feeling happens to me, it literally takes over my body. During that time I am always on the verge of a breakdown, and I mean literal tears. I have to step back and take a deep breath to keep the tears from flowing down my cheeks, but trust me, my eyes are full. It's an unexpressable feeling of anxiety. I have never been able to put the anxiousness I have felt in the pit of my stomach into words. It's like I want to jump out of my skin. Like I should be doing something else with my life. Like I am not where I am supposed to be. Like I should be living someone else life. Like I am bored and not happy with the plan God currently has me living in.
With all that said, what does all of this have to do with James 1:5? To be honest, it took me a while to wrap my head around that question. I've been sitting here erasing this for over 2 hours trying to answer that exact question. As I sat here I started to wonder if my anxiety, the uneasiness, stems from not simply asking for the wisdom that I am lacking. Are all of my insecurities, fears, anxiousness, unrest coming from a place where I am too busy looking and relying on earthly wisdom and not Godly wisdom? Why am I not asking God for His guidance and wisdom when it is so freely given and without judgement?
In James 3 he goes on to say, "Who is wise and has understanding among you? He should show his works by good conduct with wisdom's gentleness. But if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart, don't brag and deny the truth. Such wisdom does not come from above but is earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For where envy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every kind of evil. But the wisdom from above is first pure, the peace-loving, gentle, complaint, full of mercy and good fruits, without favoritism and hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who cultivate peace." (James 3:13-18). The first time I read that, I could not wrap my head around what James was saying. I picked up all the versions of the Bible I have and tried to understand exactly what James was trying to tell to the Jewish believers scattered all over. I feel that he is saying we have to have discernment between earthly wisdom and Godly wisdom. His truth cannot be associated with jealously and selfish ambition. His wisdom is associated with the fruits of the spirit that we see in Galatians 5:22-23, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law." When we do not have the fruit of the Spirit flowing through us the opposite of each occurs. The uneasiness, the anxiousness, the unrest, the lack of patience seeps in and we begin to look for wisdom in something we can tangibly see and touch, something earthly. When we are in God's word, seeking His wisdom, we are able to seek with our whole hearts and with all of our mind in a way that can only be described as peace.
As I write this I am seeking wisdom, but to tell you the truth it has been from the world and not from God. As I write this my beautiful city of Houston and it's surrounding areas lay in ruin and hopeful recovery due to Hurricane Harvey and it's flooding waters. I have seen the devastation of my city through TV, social media, text messages, and in person as I have tried to get back into what would be a sense of normalcy. My students come back Monday and my job as a teacher is to help them cope with the trauma and my job as a Christian is to try and make sense of it all and see His goodness in the chaos that we have been in for almost 2 weeks. How can I make sense of it all and seek His wisdom when all I see is the destruction of the city I have called home for over 30 years? How can I help them cope when I am struggling to cope myself? James 1:5. "Now if any of you lacks wisdom, HE SHOULD ASK GOD, who give generously and without criticizing, and it will be given to him." Most uneasiness and unrest that we experience stem from big events in our lives (the hurricane and flooding being the most recent for me). Why is it so hard for us to ask for this abundance of wisdom at the most critical moments of life? I feel like it is because we need something tangible to grab onto in moments that shake us to the core. His wisdom is "pure, peace-loving, gentle, complaint, full of mercy and good fruits, without favoritism and hypocrisy." (James 3:17), yet we still reach for earthly wisdom because we can touch it, see it, and have it on a moments notice. What's funny is that even though the earthly wisdom can be almost instant it still does not bring the peace and calmness that we need, a peace only His wisdom can bring.
What are you needing to seek wisdom on in your life? Are you feeling a sense of uneasiness and unrest, but you don't know where or who to look to like I am at certain moments? Even when we do not feel like we can we have got to look to Him and ask. All we have to do is ask. That is the beauty of having open communication with God because of Jesus and His sacrifice. We have the amazing ability to talk to God, ask Him for His wisdom, sit back and listen. Seek Him with a pure and open heart and He will speak, all you have to do is listen. Know that I am praying for you my sweet sisters.
In Him and For His Glory
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