A Woman's Journey Through Salvation

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope." Psalm 130:5 Waiting. I will be the first to say I am not a fan of the word. What makes is all the more frusterating sometimes is that it all goes back to the lesson God continues to try teach me on a daily basis... patience. If you are not a patient person, waiting can seem like a nightmare and something totally created to drive us nuts, instead of something to teach us. Being a woman I struggle with the patience of marriage. I will admit I am THAT girl. That little girl who was dreaming of prince charming and the whole nine yards. I am that "fairy tale" type of girl. But God has a way of taking my little girl dream and bringing it into His hands and out of mine. What some of you may not know is that I have been either close to being engaged or have been engaged a few times. Obviously, none of them worked out, considering I do NOT have a diamond on my left hand. I can also be honest and tell you, n...

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4:7 Paul fought the good fight. Paul had finished the race. Paul kept his faith in the Lord through the persecution and turmoil that occurred in his life. Paul will hear God say to him, "Well done, good and faithful servant!" (Matthew 25:21). But for us, we are still fighting, we are still in the race and we are still struggling with having full faith in giving God total control in every piece of our daily lives. You would think that when things of confusion, pain, anger and any other word for a total lack of understanding, come up that writing would be so much easier. You could just let all of your feelings out and then feel better knowing that you finally got what you had been thinking the whole time off your chest. Well in my case, and in shock to myself, I completely shut all writing down. I don't want to think of the pain or the lack of understanding. I don't want...

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." I would love to blame writers block 100% for my lack of attention to my writing. That would be the easy way out. In 100% honesty (and I'm always honest here) I'm going to chalk it up to partial writers block, but mainly not wanting to fully re-live the past month and a half of my life. The ups and downs have been extreme on both ends. The highs have been sky high and the lows bring me back to wanting to curl up in the corner and cry myself to sleep, which I have done often over the past month or so. God has been teaching me to fully trust in Him and have patience (and for those that know me, patience is not my greatest asset). I may not understand everything that has been happening, but it all has been for a greater purpose and an amazing plan. For those of you that have been keeping up with my story sinc...

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7 How many times a day are we anxious about something? Really think about it. I can tell you, for me, it's more than I can count on my hands and feet. I tend to worry and stress. I let the stress take over my mind and have a very hard time bringing the focus back to God and letting Him take control. I tend to feel selfish sometimes. Selfish in the way that I am coming to God with my problems and they just seem to always be something I have got myself into. I tend to forget that God wants my problems. That God wants me to trust him with all my heart. What's funny to me is God has blessed me with the chance of knowing and feeling His peace and comfort when I have given it to Him. When I have been brought to my knees, head ...

Philippians 4:19 "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Our Lord and Savior has many names. One in particular has always been something I have clung on to. It is Jehovah Jireh, which means "the God who provides". For those of you that know me on a personal level, I can tend to be a control freak. I tend to have to know where things are and where things are going. Giving up that control has not been the easiest thing for me, I can tell you that. I mean, I always knew that God would provide, but I wasn't really living that out. I would say it, but always have that fear in the back of my head of would it really work and when would it happen. When some hear the words, "the God who provides", they automatically think in material ways. I will be the first to raise my hand and say that was my first thought. During the late summer of 2009 I lost my job. It was a dead-end job. I wasn't growing or going anywhe...

Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 73:26 "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Today's post requires two pieces of scripture because of how imperative God's love and comfort are to me and how much they have been stamped on my life. I have learned that I can only rely is God's comfort and His love in my life. Sure others can bring you comfort and love you, but the feeling and the knowledge that God, our Creator, wants to comfort us and love us more than anything is such an amazing feeling. During times of extreme pain though, I can understand how a physical hug and comforting words can seem to be more of a comfort that God's love and comfort for us. I will be honest, I have felt that way before, on a couple occasions, but I have learned how to focus my mind primarily on God's love and comfort first and foremost. In August 2009...

Romans 12:2 "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will." I floated back and forth on the verse to use for today and this was the verse I kept coming back to. As I was driving to work today, a good friend called and was discussing a decision she has to make. The first thing that popped into my head was to tell her to use discernment in the decision she needed to make. A definition of discernment is the act or process of exhibiting keen insight and good judgment. God always has the best discernment. God's wisdom is always there. God's voice is always there. We just have to first take a step back, pray and be honest with ourselves about that is of the flesh and what God is saying to our hearts. I have had to use discernment in the past. I have had to really listen to what God is saying and push out the flesh....

James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." I have learned something very important in my walk with the Lord and I am very ready to share it with you. Here it is... God will put trials in your life for a reason and we will only understand the reason behind it when He is ready for us to. I will be honest with you. When I learned that lesson I was none too happy. If God was going to make a radical move in my life, then I want to know why it is all happening much sooner rather than a second later. I didn't want to be left standing in the dark wondering why everything seemed to be crashing down around me. Well, as it is said, it's not on our timing that things happen or we understand, it's on God's timing. I have had to swallow this lesson on more than a h...

2 Corinthians 6:14, 15b "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common. Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?" Last week I began a co-ed small group that is studying "The 10 Commandments of Dating" by Ben Young and Dr. Samuel Adams. I have read the book before, but I figured an in depth study of what I had read would not be a bad thing to look at, being single and all. As each of us were studying and discussing the book, the subject of expectations vs. standards or "the bar" became a focus of the conversation. The distinction of expectations and standards can often be blurred. We are taught not to have high expectations because when things don't live up to those expectations we are hurt and disappointed and left wondering and questioning why things did not go our way. Standards are different though. You can have standards and not be d...

2 Timothy 3:16-17 "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." Last night I was out to eat with an old friend of mine. Being a believer, it is rare that I am not always around fellow believers (I prefer that most days), but in this instance, last night, I wasn't. You see, my old friend is an agnostic. By definition an agnostic is a person who holds that the existence of the ultimate cause, as God, and the essential nature of things are unknown and unknowable, or that human knowledge is limited to experience. He believes something is out there, but will not say that it is God. He believes there is something bigger than God and that God is just a small fraction of what the bigger picture is. Of course, that clashes with my belief that God is the bigger picture of this world in which we live. Well, during this dinner I learn that he is wri...

Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." A few weeks ago I was blessed with the ability to travel to Tuxtla Gutierrez, Mexico and love on 79 beautiful children. I will be the first to admit, those sweet kids stole my heart from the moment they grabbed my hand. They had no idea who I was, but they knew I was there to spend time with them and to give them love. What I wasn't expecting was to be shown more of God's love than what I could give. I went on this trip with the impression of showing these sweet children God's love, but by the end of the week I was brought to my knees through tearful good-byes and the feeling of my heart ready to burst with all the love they had shown me. For those that do not know about the children I went to visit (although I'm sure most of you do), these children have been abused in any way you can think of. They have been abandon, sexually abused, neglected, forg...

Psalm 115:3 "Our God is in heaven; He does whatever pleases Him." My favorite definition of sovereign is defined as "being above all others in character, importance, excellence, etc." That is God. He is Sovereign. He is above all. He is the end all. So as I was driving to work this morning I began thinking of how Sovereign our God is. Then as the drive progressed I began to think of things in my life that hurt me to my very core. During a recent and ongoing season in my life I remember telling a close friend that I was having a hard time understanding God's plan from Satan's tactics in my life. That if everything comes from God and it is to bring Him glory and is for the greater good, than why does it has to hurt so badly? Why is Satan able to take hold of us and toss us around like Raggedy Anne or Andy? Even our pain is a part of God's plan. Satan might attack our thoughts, but it's how we look at it that truly defines it all. Satan maybe able to ge...

Ephesians 2:8-9 "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast." And I'm walking... walking where you may ask? Walking down the road that leads me to wherever God has me. Even before I became a Christian I wanted to be on this path. I wanted to be walking down a path that led me to where God wanted me to be. I honestly thought that path would be easier. Can we say I was wrong? I was SO WRONG! In fact, I honestly believe the road God wants me on is much harder. The road that I walked in sin seemed easy and hard at the same time. I felt as though I was answering to only me, but I was still empty. Yet I couldn't figure out what that emptiness was. Well that emptiness was there because I did not have Christ in my heart (no matter how many times I swear I did). After I accepted Christ into my heart in July of 2008 I thought things would get easier. Well Satan came at me ...